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checked out

Had a rough week last, and basically checked out for a few days. Saw my doctor, who upped my antidepressant from 10mg daily to 20mg daily and I believe that's helping. Doc Sutanto also recommended I find a therapist. Working on that. I gots lotsa issues. My sister returned from her Midwestern tour and that's helping, too.

I haven't exercised in four days. It's hot. Forecast high of 113 today. It's dry and dusty and I can't remember the last time it rained. Bad conditions for outdoor exercise. Without daily activity, however, I tend to wallow even more.

I've been reading a lot lately and feeling guilty about it, though I don't know why I should. No matter what I'm doing I always think I should be doing something else. Maybe because I'm not working in the morning? I basically don't want to do anything but read, watch movies, and crochet. But then I feel guilty if that's what I'm doing.

I've thrown up my hands, given in, given up. Succumbed to a depressive state with the hope that I'll rally in a few days.

Comments

Momma_Dee said…
And I think that you will. Meanwhile try getting in the swimming pool and kicking around and exercising. STOP feeling guilty. If there was one thing I could do it would be to never have bought into that big Catholic load of guilt and passed it on. You work, you raise a wonderful child, you deserve to read and crochet. You are a wonderful person and I am telling you so and I'm your mama so listen to me.
Miss Linder said…
Yes Becky, listen to your mama. She says the same sort of things to me and I was never Catholic. I remember coming to your house when Jack was a tiny baby and you were having some fairly severe breastfeeding issues. I thought then "this is one determined girl, she is going to succeed". You did then and you will now.
shy_smiley said…
I'm listening to my mama and her friend Ms. Linder. Your encouragement gives me strength. Love to you both.

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temporize \TEM-puh-ryz\, intransitive verb:
1. To be indecisive or evasive in order to gain time or delay action.
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4. To come to terms (usually followed by 'with').

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She laughed lightly. "That's a wegetable," she said, in her lovely Sinhalese way.

"Oh, yeah? Like a beet?" That made sense, because it flaked like tuna steak or like beets might.

"It is jackfruit."

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