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things I know about knees

  • Elephants are the only animals with four knees.
  • There is no single-word name for the back of a person's knee.
  • Babies are born without knee caps. Instead they have a little series of platelets that eventually ossify into the patella by the second or third year.
  • I have crepitus, which is that crackly noise my right knee makes when I do squats or lunges. Crepitus is just a symptom. My kneecap doesn't ride smoothly over the groove for it in my femur, hence the popping and crackling. Crepitus is also the Roman god of flatulence.
  • Those are my knees up there. See that raised scar on my right knee? That scar originated when I tripped over home plate in my attempt to run to first base during a game of softball in 8th grade PE. Twenty-three years later, I plowed open that scar when I fell while jogging near a major foothills intersection. I actually rolled head over heels downhill and not a single person stopped to help me. They all just drove on by, so I tottered home with blood running down my shin. That tumble added a whole new dimension to my knee scar. At the preschool, wicked teacher that I am, I tell all the kids that my scar is actually a chrysalis, and one of these days a butterfly will emerge. At least once a week, while I'm sitting on the floor with them, one of the kids will rub that scar with little fingers and ask, "When will the butterfly come?"


auntie m said…
Are you sure these are your knees? I think they might be my knees.

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